Blog Posts - Revive The Flame

WHAT MAKES PEOPLE CHANGE?

7/19/2020

WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE?

Last week Dr. Oz told his radio audience that one of the most important things he learned form Oprah was that people don't change because of what they know, they change because of how they feel. Do you recall that last time you changed because of how you felt?

FIVE QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER BEFORE THERAPY

7/15/2020

You may want to give these five areas some thought before attempting to contact a therapist.

1. What do I want to get out of therapy?

2. What is preventing me from reaching my goals?

3. How urgent is therapy for me at this time?

4. How willing am I to change?

5. How can I tell if a therapist is a good fit for me?

Consider these questions before making the call, and you will be ahead of the game.

"SMILE GOING UNDER"

7/13/2020

The first riveting bumper sticker I ever say was on the back of a semi truck trailer. It read, "If You Can't Stop, Smile Going Under." I have been a connoisseur of bumper stickers ever since. What is the funniest bumper sticker you ever saw?

"STOP IT!"

7/11/2020

2020 marks 15 years that I have been doing marriage counseling. Bob Newhart's skit is a reminder how easy it is to do therapy wrongly. https://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw

DEFUNDING THE POLICE

7/9/2020

Back in the olden days, they used to defund the police-- that is made patrols not worth the police department's while-- in communities by obeying the law. I wonder if that would still work today.

"NEW" COVID-19 CASES

7/7/2020

Here in Florida we have unprecedented numbers of people waiting in long lines for hours to get checked for COVID-19. Is it any wonder there are so many "new" cases of COVID-19? But, just because I was infected without symptoms three months ago and I finally get to the front of the test line, doesn't mean my case is "new." If we want the number of "new" cases to go down, maybe we should just try not getting tested, if we don't have the symptoms.

BLACK LIVES MATTER

7/6/2020

Until Chicagoans get the message that black lives matter, for now, perhaps they should go with "Black Children's Lives Matter."

NASCAR

6/29/2020

Apparently, NASCAR doesn't know the difference between a noose and a knotted loop. Bubba Williams said there was a noose in his garage, but the FBI said whatever it was wasn't put there as an intimidation tactic. There is not practical reason for a noose to be used in a garage unless it was there for intimidation. On the other hand, a knotted loop at the end of a rope has much utility especially when it serves as a handle to pull down the garage door. Nooses which are slip knots are not used for pulling things down. So, if there was a noose at the end of the rope to pull down the door, it was most certainly an intimidation tactic. The question remains, "If there was a noose in the garage, how could it not be for any other purpose than intimidation?"

Anglers loop (above)

Noose (above)

It is virtually impossible to confuse these two knots.

Emotional Maturity

6/23/2020

Someone asked me today if I thought people with short engagements had a harder time staying married. Research shows that emotional maturity is one of the best predictors of a satisfying marriage. You could argue that emotionally mature people don't have short engagements, and that could be. But, if you are not in touch with your emotions and if you cannot manage them, a long engagement will be no help.