Something that has come up a few times in therapy this week is the need to put the past behind us. Dwelling on the hurt of the past is one sure way to bring our bad past into our good present. Forgiveness is a good way to leave the past behind. Some clients identify with the fact that they must wipe the slate clean in order to start over. My sister-in-law, Marilyn, asked me just today, "How did you stay married for 43 years?" It did not take long to answer, "We just keep forgiving each other!"
On the other hand, resentment or unforgiveness hurts relationships as well as the resentful person. Someone once said, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting your spouse to die." It is a self-inflicted wound.
Forgiveness is not about forgetting with your mind, it is about forgetting with your heart, i.e., not treating someone as if they hurt you. If you must treat your spouse like he or she has hurt you, then you have not forgiven.
Why not give forgiveness a try, today?