The lens of shame limits our self-worth to be no greater than our worst shame. Many of us are not proud of what we have been through. When we use shame to define ourselves, we always undervalue our self-worth.
The human condition is such that we usually see only ourselves through the lens of shame. We do not value the worth of our friends, or even our pets, in terms of their experiences. We take them at face value apart from what they have been through. We should step back and apply to ourselves the same criteria that we use to determine the worth of others.